Let me spell this out for you. You. Are. Awesome. I can move my fifteenth page story from my computer to one at work. I can show my friends things from my computer without having to drag a computer to work. You are a stroke of genius. Whoever created you was one of the greatest people to ever walk the Earth. I am serious.
Without you, I would have been dead this Monday. The printer wasn't going to work with me. That much was clear. Then there you were. Sitting on my desk as normal as anything. I plugged you in, saved the document in your memory, and safely removed you. You rode around in my pocket all day, until you were needed. You did your job splendidly.
I would have very little chance of having a computer if my mother didn't know she could use you to move files from computer A. to laptop B. In fact, I owe a lot to you little rectangular device. So many things would have killed me if you didn't exist. This is why I am thanking you. Of course, you cannot read, but I still am writing a blog post just for you.