Thursday, July 14, 2011

Attack of the Killer Migraine

Monday I spent all day on the computer. That was not a smart idea. I left the screen to eat my dinner and noticed a small blur that was vaguely lemon shaped in the corner of my vision on the right side. It grew and grew until I was robbed of my right peripheral vision. It's called an aura. They usually show up before you have a migraine. I took medication, took the thickest blanket off of my bed, moved the fan as close as possible to the bed, and turned the fan on high, before I went to bed. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. The migraine mercilessly commenced to keep me awake and in great pain.

Ever since I was little I have kept a plastic bucket beside my bed. I still do. This bucket is called my Barf Buddy. Barf Buddy came in handy Monday night. I sat up and opened my mouth over the bucket I clutched in my hands. Barf does not need help coming out. It never has. The most you can do is open your mouth and hope it doesn't get everywhere. Between waves of barf, I made my way to the bathroom, lifted the toilet lid, and redirected the vomit from my bucket to the toilet. I continued to barf and at one point it came up so hard some went out my nose. When my body had decided it was done, I tried to flush it down.

The toilet did not want to swallow my stomach contents. I could relate, but never the less, I grabbed the plunger and commenced to force it down the porcelain throat. There was one part of my former food that really did not want to go down. After consulting my sister, it was discovered to be a tomato skin or at least part of one. I cleaned up my Barf Buddy and went to the kitchen for some ice water.

My father came up the stairs and asked if I was okay. I told him I was. We stood there for a moment. Him, looking at me in the concerned way fathers do and me, drinking my ice water. I eventually went back to bed and finally fell asleep. I don't know what time I fell asleep, but I woke up around eleven.

I spent the day on the recliner with my sister watching me. For the first half hour it was nice to have her do stuff for me to spare me from the sudden throbbing pain quick movement caused me. In the middle of the movie Labyrinth (The volume was down low because if it was loud enough my brain would melt.) I stood up to fetch myself a glass of ice water. My sister protested, gently pushed me back down, and went to get the glass herself. At that moment I decided that a bowl of sandwich meat would be tasty. I stood back up and went to the kitchen. As soon as my sister heard the bowl clinking against the others, she spun around and glared at me. To put it simply she tried to force me back to the chair and I refused, shouting, "I'm an independent young woman!". She, of course, responded with, "You're not a young woman!" I still won and ended up with my meat. Considering my battle won, I let her be my slave, but only because she wanted to be and my head was hurting.

When my father returned I had had a bowl of lunch meat, a glass of chocolate milk, several glasses of water, and a package of saltine crackers. I was not allowed on the computer all day in case it triggered a relapse. I am now allowed on the computer for short periods of time.

Let me describe to you what a migraine feels like. If you have had a migraine then you don't need to read this to understand the blog post tile. A migraine will usually start with a subtle sign. Some people (like me) have auras, which are little shimmery things in the corner of your vision. Others have other signs that I don't know about. Once you have noticed your sign you need to take medication. Do not tell yourself that you can tough it out. I thought I could in eight grade and it was NOT pretty. I threw up in a trashcan during a presentation about unicorns. If you take your medication and lie down in a dark quiet room to sleep for a couple hours, like my mother made me during my first migraine, it will pass a lot easier. Now we get to the migraine itself. I'll just describe it with medication, but still awake.

Saying that a migraine is just a magnified head ache is not a good description. Close your eyes and have someone read the following aloud to you if you want, it might make it easier. Imagine a thick black wall from overhead. Inside the wall is light. Outside is a pale pink mist with red tendrils floating in it. This is your mind normally. Now the red grows. It becomes solid and pushes against the wall with all of its strength. The wall cracks. Light spills out of the cracks. The red doesn't stop there. It forms large daggers and pushes them through the wall. In some places the wall shatters. Pain. Hot searing pain is all your mind can recognize. You will not be able to tie your shoes as thoughtlessly as normal. You have to put all of your focus into it and watch where the strings are going and what they're doing.

That is a migraine.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, my poor chicken! I am sitting here laughing with tears in my eyes, and at the same time, I feel SOOOOO sorry for you, very genuinely. I'm sorry you have migraines, my dear, but I have to say, you've got a real knack for both description and narrative!